Emma's Birthday

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Five Months Ago

Dearest Will,

Five months ago, my world changed forever. I held you for the first time and became a mother. And not just any mother, but your mother.

I counted your ten little fingers and ten little toes. I thanked God that all of you was absolutely perfect and healthy. I touched your soft baby cheek and peered into your inky eyes and I felt as if I was looking into a part of my heart.

Staring at you would become my new favorite pasttime. Even now, five months later, I can spend the better part of an afternoon, just watching you sleep. And we all know how much I love taking your picture so that I will always be able to remember just what you looked like.

I had always dreamed about being a mom and what it might be like. I thought that I knew how to be a mother because I've always been good around babies.

I had no idea.

I had no idea how much I could love you, that my heart would literally hurt from loving you this way.

I had no idea how terrified I would become that I would cause you harm in some way.

I had no idea how focused I could become on keeping you safe and happy.

I had no idea how much being a mom would change me.

I had no idea.

Five months ago, they placed you in my arms for the very first time and I became a mother and changed forever.

Thank you.

Love always,
Mommy

3 comments:

Lisa Ragsdale said...

It seems like yesterday that you were born. You are such a blessing Will !! I love you with all my heart and miss you lots!!! Love and LOTS of hugs sweetie : ) Auntie Lisa

JanisRae said...

I don't think there is any little boy who is loved as much as Mr. Will is. You are the joy of all of our lives. The love I feel for you is so strong and I know just what your mommy means when she says her heart hurts with love for you. Happy 5 month birthday you sweet little boy.

I love you very much.
Grandma Jan

Mike said...

Hi Buddy!
It has been so amazing watching you grow these last five months. I just can't believe how big and how smart you are getting. Though I want you to grow big, strong, smart, and independent, I also dread the day when you are too big to hold or when you start not wanting our help anymore. Until then we will continue to do everything in our power to keep you safe and to give you as much happiness as you have given us.

I Love You!
Daddy